All week I’ve been doing firsts. The first time I drove to the supermarket alone; the first time I parked the car (bus) alone; the first time I used the oven alone; the first time I used the washing machine alone.
Even the second time I did all of these things it was tough. Each one took so much longer than it needed to and every time I felt sapped of energy. I made bad decisions frequently, and me being me when I do something wrong I beat myself up. Not just a little bit, but enough to feel pretty worthless by the end of it.
So, when it came to Friday afternoon, I was excited by the prospect of having my partner in crime back to so that we could do some fun things together. Say bye to the chores and let our hair down. What I didn’t factor in was his need to settle.
He hasn’t done any of the firsts I’ve done; he hasn’t had a week of experience to try, fail, learn and try again. So, naturally, he needs some time.
My reaction? Frustration, anger, and despair at having to go through all of the stressful stuff I’ve been through all week, again all weekend. I want to do fun things, explore, have an adventure, laugh.
So, we argue. Both being stubborn, neither backs down. Eventually, I realise I need to let up; this is an alien experience for both of us, and it will take time for us both to become acquainted with our surroundings.
We have three years to explore, see, do. But today before we can do any of the fun stuff, we must again, go to the supermarket.