Early yesterday evening I popped into our local town to grab some dinner. I parked in my usual spot, about half a mile out of town, and walked up to the deli. My thought was ‘I’ll get a few steps in and try to hit my goal for the day.’ I find exercise harder to come by with a babe in tow (although I’m sure I could do more if I really tried). With much less ‘me time’ these days I’m starting to believe that we all subconsciously prioritize what’s really important to us every moment of every day.
I powered up to town and picked up our salads breathing in the fresh clean air as I went. As I walked back to my car I decided to take a slight detour through the park. I’ve written about this park before, but it captures me each time I go there. The varied light, weathers, times of day, and the people I’m with all cast a different spell on this small patch of green and blue.
As the light was beginning to fade, and the last remnants of sunshine spattered across the still pond, the little park stopped me in my ‘step crazed’ tracks.
That evening the park captured me like a heavy dream; whimsical and all-encompassing. As the soft light breeze danced around me, I felt still and calm. I was present. There were no future desires or past regrets, no rushing here or there, no baby in tow or chattering company. It was just me, being, listening.
As much as I love my busy life and beautiful family, I miss those increasingly rare moments of ‘me time’. The moments where I’m just me. Not only a mother or a wife nor a daughter or friend. Just a woman with hopes and dreams all of her own.