30 Day Writing & Image Challenge, Parenting & Motherhood

Day 1: Apparently, “82% of young men wear odd socks at least once a week.”

I believe my son is training for this goal. To help him achieve his feat, he likes to practice daily the art of removing and eating his socks, to ensure he is mismatching at all times.

Removing socks

After my third hot flash of the day, as my slippery toddler squirms out of my grip once again, through any opening he can find, my boy is finally wearing socks.

Faster than I manage to put them on, he removes them. No qualms, no remorse, just socks off. He particularly likes to do this immediately after I’ve put them on, often when I’m far enough away from him to believe my goal of ‘feet snugly sat in socks’ is complete.

This act of defiance convinces me that toddlers are much more intelligent than we give them credit:

  1. They can Houdini their way out of any space
  2. They know, after the intense struggle you went through to put them on, that you must want the socks to stay on their feet. Conversely, they remove them.

Sometimes, they like to let you think you’re winning. They wait until you strap them into their car seat and you’re a mile or two down the road, and… riiiip… you hear the familiar sound of Velcro. In the baby mirror, you see his shoe fly into the air and his sock enters his mouth…

Eating socks

What is it about babies and eating their socks? Whether they’re wearing them or they find a stash in the corner of the playroom from a previous wearing session, babies like to stuff fresh and stale socks into their tiny little dribbling mouths until the sock is no longer fit for feet. I then find socks fresh from the drawer that morning strewn across the floor like sad, deflated balloons, unloved and lifeless.

My washing pile is never empty. I wash at least three pairs of my baby’s socks every day; they are rarely matching…

Lost socks

It doesn’t matter what our age, we lose socks. If you believe Sock Shop “Lost socks can cost you £240 [about $300] a year. In 2011, researchers established that the average four-person family will lose 60 socks a year… what they can’t tell us though is where on earth they go?!”

I have to admit, my question here wasn’t ‘where do they go?’ It’s ‘who are the ‘missing sock’ researchers??’ I need to meet these people…

Mismatching socks

Everyone loves baby socks and family and friends love to buy socks for your baby. Colourful socks are much more entertaining for children to wear than plain black or white ones, and rightly so. Children need stimulation and why can’t it come from their socks?!

Unfortunately, there are days when I am one of those people who want to appear ‘put together’; someone who knows what they’re doing with their life. Not the woman who’s left a pile of dirty laundry in the middle of her kitchen floor knowing she needs to grab the window where her son is wearing his socks and shoes to leave the house.

Those are the days when not only do I want my son’s socks to match, but I want them to match his outfit too. Sadly, those days are a rarity. However, when those days do occur and you look into the sock drawer and see a PAIR of colour coordinated socks grinning at you, you know it’s going to be a good day.

Unfortunately, (or fortunately depending on your feelings of socks) when it comes to my son’s sock adventures, I have to continually remind myself that he is in training to become a man. A man, who 82% of the time wears mismatched socks.

My weird sock facts hail from SockShop.co.uk! Believe it or not, I am not sponsored by Sock Shop. 

1 thought on “Day 1: Apparently, “82% of young men wear odd socks at least once a week.””

  1. So true and so funny, I laughed and laughed.
    Your sense of humour shines through this piece of writing and encourages the reader to follow your words until the end of the piece. Clearly these are words from one who is a sock research deciple and who is fighting the good fight against odd socks and no socks. Shots of the socked feet and the bare feet illustrate your point well !

    Liked by 1 person

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